我最近在一個地方，被要求簽名和填寫日期，然後才算完成當天的任務, 可以離開。接待員正在盡職，確認這兩項必須的事項是否齊全，然後才讓我離開。當我快到門口時，接待員叫我回來。她說：「林先生，請您回來幫我修正好日期。」我走回接待處, 她接著說：「你寫下了2027年，比我們快一年。」她友善地笑著，還和同事分享我的「笨拙」。我回：「唉，我老了，不，我在想著一項正在籌備中的計畫。」

就在前幾天在火車上，一位坐在我對面的中年男子睡著了。我平常不會看人，更別說陌生人睡了覺，因為文明社會告訴我應該尊重別人的隱私。然而，他T恤上出現了三個英文字，吸引了我的注意：”CLUMSY AND LOVABLE” 「笨拙卻可愛」。我立刻想到，如果那天我寫錯年份但穿著那件T恤，讓那位年輕美貌的女士看到那三個可愛的字，接待員可能會笑得更大聲及更可愛.

開玩笑及穿自己喜歡的衣服應該成為我們日常生活的一部分。為什麼我們要一直擺出疲憊的表情而且沒有笑容地步行，還有穿著自己不喜歡的衣服呢？我最近看了一位好受歡迎的YouTuber（一位優雅的女性長者）教大家如何體驗富有人家的日常生活。她給人們一些建議：「去找你為特殊場合準備的漂亮衣服，別等，今天就穿上它們吧。」我覺得這位YouTuber說得有些道理。

我記得大學時期讀心理學時，我們正在學習什麼是 ”PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD” 「展現你出最好的一面」。那麼，現在讓我們立刻跑到你的衣櫃，把那些漂亮衣服拿出來穿上。你永遠不知道會發生什麼，你今天可能覺得自己變成了一個完全不同的人, 運氣還馬上來 。

但當我們談論日常生活時, 我一直主張年齡不應該決定我們穿什麼，反之，衣服也不該決定我們的年齡。環顧四周，大多數長者穿得像老年人, 甚至去長者服裝店購物。我不是提議一個70歲的男人捲起袖子, 然後把褲子摺到膝蓋高度，露出有斑點的球鞋。事實上，我認識一位長者朋友, 他在社交場合中就是這樣做的。除了某場合有服裝規定之外, 我對時尚服裝的看法是: 任何年齡的女士都可以穿色彩繽紛的裙子而且穿上運動鞋; 任何年齡的男士都可以穿休閒西方外套而且穿上牛仔褲。

生活應該是有趣的; 穿自己舒適及喜歡的衣服應該是任何長者完美的正面方程式。我是這麼想：「在已經充滿壓力的社會中, 我們穿的衣服可小量離常規吧.」

林大偉

2026年10月 份

（林大偉律師是亞洲正向行為支援學院 (PBSA Asia) 的顧問之一. 林律師專注研究預防以及處理校園欺凌包括網絡欺凌, 還有專注尋找方法去幫助特殊教育需要人士及社區長者.）

身為一位長者，讓筆者告訴你，在任何一天做一件讓你感到驕傲和重要的事，是當天賜予你的特別禮物。

我最近一週兩次就經歷了這樣的情況。沒有什麼事先好好的規劃，機會接連而來，我被邀請參加兩場國際會議。第一場會議聚集了各式各樣的專家，大會也承諾免費午餐。無論去哪裡，我胃口都很好，午餐出乎意料地美味，但就在那天最幸運的是我在午餐桌上認識了兩位社會工作與福利領域的重要人物。

隨著人口年齡增長，社會中擁有明確的聲音顯示老年人需要建立社交圈子並維護心理健康。有大量研究告訴長者不應該一直待在家裡，應該多外出進行社交活動、一起做些健康事情。

筆者三十多歲時，因為對學習某外語產生了興趣, 我每週去到某個民族的社區中心成為義工。我在中心廚房幫忙準備湯品，同時從廚房員工那裡學外語。長者來到中心時，我幫忙端茶和上午餐，並嘗試現場說他們的語言。當然我玩得很開心，因為我可以獲得磨練一個新語言的機會，卻吃到一頓好餐。午餐時，我看到那群老人笑容滿面，感受到溫暖。午餐後，我看到長者們下棋或玩牌時的享受, 感到有一些安慰。這是一段我永生難忘的經歷。

最近，我看到一篇由耶魯大學醫學院臨床教授 Frank J. Ninivaggi 醫生撰寫的文章。他談到了長者霸凌的普遍性，以及霸凌如何對這些人造成創傷。這個主題是現今社會必須關懷的事, 我們不是沒聽過報導老人家曾在老人院遭受霸凌和尊嚴剝奪。Ninivaggi 博士的強調：

「霸凌對長者的影響深遠且多面化，影響身心健康。受害者可能經歷健康衰退、焦慮、憂鬱及生活品質下降。霸凌可能加劇現有健康狀況，加速惡化這個脆弱族群的健康。值得注意的是，對長者的霸凌對年長受害者造成創傷。」

讓我們在結束閱讀前，再看兩遍這位很有善心的醫生的說話。對我來說，無論受害者是長者還是年輕者，我都非常熟悉霸凌帶來的負面影響. 在我日常法律實務中, 當我協助校園霸凌的受害者時, 我一直都感受到那些擁有小心靈的受害者和他們的家人的痛苦以及影響.

林大偉

2026年9月 份

（林大偉律師是亞洲正向行為支援學院 (PBSA Asia) 的顧問之一. 林律師專注研究預防以及處理校園欺凌包括網絡欺凌, 還有專注尋找方法去幫助特殊教育需要人士及社區長者.）

參考資料:

Psychology Today (7 February 2024), Breaking the Silence on Elderly-Perpetuated Bullying

Author: Dr. Frank J. Ninivaggi, MD

Reviewed by Tyler Woods

有一天，我在一間中醫診所時，無意中聽到病人和醫生的對話。 我本來沒打算偷聽別人在醫療場合的對話，但我當時只有離開前面的病人不超過五英尺，坐在椅子上等著排隊去看醫生。

病人是一位看起來七十多歲的女性。 她顯然是獨自來診所，不需要任何助行器。 醫生問她哪裡不舒服，她說最近害怕過馬路。 那位太太聽起來非常擔心，盯著醫生尋找答案。 醫生要她的手掌，摸了摸脈搏。 然後醫生說：「嗯，你的腎臟很虛弱，需要吃點藥一段時間，應該沒問題。」 那位太太停頓了幾秒，然後簡單地說了句「真的」並點了點頭。

我在路上回家時都在想著中醫診所醫生和那位七十多歲的太太這段對話，心裡一直難以置信，長者害怕過馬路竟然跟腎臟有關。我轉向手機尋求答案。 （這樣我是不應該的, 我們以前不是會去圖書館尋找答案嗎?） 我發現根據中醫，腎弱時腿也會弱。 我的懷疑心立刻被打消了，我心想，畢竟醫生說得有點道理。 那位太太的雙腿是否虛弱，導致她失去步行的力量，甚至可能失去過馬路的信心？ 但她到底怎麼來到醫生診所的？ 診所的位置對我來說是很陌生，但我記得醫生所在的旁邊有住宅單位。 所以， 那位太太不用過馬路仍然可以來這裡看醫生。 

我不是醫療人員，無法判斷那位太太的診斷是否正確，但經過一些網上調查後，我的懷疑已經被否定了。  回想起在診所看到的事，北歐式 健步(Nordic Walking) 浮現在我腦海中。 據我了解，北歐式 健步確實有助於人們，尤其是年紀漸長的人，透過將力量分散到手臂，減輕下關節的壓力的方式走路， 從而增強活動能力去 協助解決長者一些生活上開始面臨的挑戰，例如安全且平衡地走路 。 如果是這樣，也許一雙北歐式健步拐杖能提升這位太太的行動力，從而增加自信。 這不是正向行為支援的原理來支持社區長者嗎？

我大膽猜想，也許那位太太在吃了中藥並從醫生那裡拿到一個好的成績表後，那些有溫暖心的人應該送她一雙北歐式健步拐杖作為聖誕禮物， 讓她能走過馬路去品嚐 對面街的皮蛋瘦豬粥。不，我不是醫療人員，也不是物理治療師！我還是閉嘴，把這個事情交給聖誕老人去處理吧。

林大偉

2026年8月 份

（林大偉律師是亞洲正向行為支援學院 (PBSA Asia) 的顧問之一。 林律師專注研究預防以及 處理校園欺凌包括網絡欺凌、還有專注尋找方法去幫助特殊教育需要人士及社區長者。）

愛傳遞機構，相信每一個生命都值得被理解、被看見、被溫柔地擁抱。為了讓這份愛能夠持續、有效、有尊嚴地傳遞下去，我們所有服務項目的設計與推動，均建立在兩大核心框架之上——「正向行為支援」（Positive Behaviour Support, PBS）與「慈善營商」（Charity Business）這兩個理念相輔相成地運作，為受助者、合作夥伴及社會帶來更深遠的益處。

正向行為支援倡導，行為是溝通的最後語言。每個看似困難的行為背後，都隱藏著未被滿足的需求、未被讀懂的情緒或未被理解的環境壓力。愛傳遞將 PBS 融入所有服務——無論是兒童培訓、家庭關係、還是職場團隊協作。我們不問「你出了什麼問題」，而是問「你經歷了什麼，你需要什麼」。透過功能行為評估、環境調整與正向技能培養，我們協助受助者建立內在的安全感與能力感。

我們以商業思維管理營運，以營利手段達成公益目的。我們透過收費合理的專業培訓、營銷服務、產品銷售或企業合作，創造就業機會給特教青年，爭取穩定收入，再將利潤投入前線服務。

這不是「做生意忘了初心」，而是以商業的永續性，守護公益的純粹性。

愛傳遞機構相信真正的愛，需要智慧來引航，需要結構來承載，需要永續來延續。正向行為支援讓我們溫柔而精準地靠近每一個需要幫助的人；慈善營商讓我們無畏而堅定地走在這條路上，不因資源枯竭而停下腳步。這兩個框架，是我們的翅膀，也是我們對每一位同行者的承諾 - 愛，不會耗盡；愛，會持續傳遞。

2026年8月 份

（潘嘉麗女士是慈善機構「愛.傳遞 」LoveXpress.org 的創會主席，亞洲正向行為支援學院 (PBSA Asia) 的前理事 。 ）

SCHOOL  MANAGEMENT

COVID-19  AND  ONLINE  LEARNING

Can we learn something from Covid-19 and online learning?

Yes, we can.

When I was in my first year of secondary school, our Biology teacher won my prize for boredom and monotony. The only thing I can remember from the class was the topic about amoeba.  For those who are not familiar with living creatures, an amoeba is a cell which can alter its shape. Congratulations to those classmates who had made into medical school and become doctors.  For me, with regret, I had lost interest in biological science at the age of 12.

One day, our Chemistry teacher told us we would be moving the class to the school laboratory.  I had never gone to the school lab before, and I was excited and ready to line up with my classmates to march forward to our “new” classroom.  We sat in rows, breathing in strange chemicals, and it was a booster for me to take interest in science when the teacher started to use the Bunsen burner to burn sulphur for us to see. (Oops, now I found out once sulphur is burnt, a toxic gas called sulphur dioxide is created; so please don`t try it at home!)  

I think I know why I was making efforts in paying attention in my chemistry lesson that day.  It was indeed a change of environment from a classroom setting to that of a laboratory setting.  On reflection, I might have changed my academic path to that of a scientific one if I was given the chance to wear a white gown and put on some gloves or protective face shield.

After I became an overseas student, I came to realize that classroom setting did have a positive influence on my interest in a certain subject.  One day, our English teacher told us we would be having class in the open.  It was a sunny day, and we were all sitting on grass and under apple trees, learning Shakespeare. That was quite an experience, and although we were probably slightly distracted by the singing birds and an occasional fur-covered small animal (called a skunk) running around, we were more engaged in our class than ever before.

Weren`t we all excited when the schools were informing parents that our children would be having their classes online when the pandemic began.  No doubt, the home is always the most relaxed environment in which a child can be.  Your children will get the warmth and feel secure when their parents are around.  Although our children are supposed to pick up the school curriculum with the same degree of concentration and effort while learning online at home, inevitably there will be distractions of all sorts.  Someone might knock on your door to make a delivery, someone`s phone may be ringing, your neighbour`s dog may be barking, etc.  I bumped into a parent the other day at the supermarket with her child, I was not amused to learn that she was telling me that her child needed “a break from all those zoom classes.” I don`t blame the parent, we all need a break, but we also need to abide by class schedules and to follow school rules. Other than languages, mathematics, history, geography and the like, children are sent to school to also learn discipline and to behave themselves, so that when they grow up they will become law abiding citizens.  

We can easily envisage that some students have begun to develop behavioural changes while being away from school for a long time. When the pandemic is under control, and when schools are open again for face-to-face learning, it won`t be a surprise to find students having all kinds of behavioural problems that might affect their learning capacity and other classmates as well.

“(Students) coming back to school after an unplanned absence have been in different environments, with different expectations for their behavior. Hence, a strong focus on re-teaching and modeling expected school behaviors will help to re-establish and maintain a school culture where students can expect to see prosocial behavior from their peers…in the building.”1

“Students experiencing trauma, such as public health crises…may have been exposed to unpredictable schedules, inconsistent supervision…desperately need school to be their safest … and most positive setting…”2

This time round, students are not returning to school from the usual long hot summer holidays, they are returning from a health-related crisis! Wouldn`t it be a great idea for schools to consider making changes to their classroom setting when their students return to face-to-face learning?  Most of our schools have a traditional classroom setting with tables and chairs facing the teacher and the blackboard.  When schools are ready to welcome students to return to their classrooms, students are shifting from a rather relaxed and casual home setting back to an uniform and disciplined school setting. Some students who have been away from school for a long period of time might find it difficult to adjust to this type of school setting? Teachers are faced with the burden of correcting students who misbehave, on top of their teaching duties. 

“In a 2004 survey (in the United States), 75% of teachers noted that they would spend more time teaching and teaching effectively if they had less disruptive behavior in their classrooms…(As for students), disruptive behavior (e.g., speaking without permission, getting out of seat) often interferes with (their) engagement in the learning process.”3 

“Environmental modifications are preventive, whole-class approach that may decrease chronic behavior problems, prevent behavior problems for students who are at risk, and allow children with minimal or no problem behavior to access learning without interruption.”4

While students are eagerly waiting to return to school whether to learn, to play or to interact with their classmates, or all of the above, schools have ample time to ponder and to make changes to their classroom setting to a more friendly and relaxed atmosphere.  Adults and children are no different, we all like surprises.  If a change of classroom setting can produce positive results, then why not. 

I happen to have had watched a few episodes of a television series which feature changing people`s homes literally overnight from a place with old furniture, darkened rooms, and a tiny kitchen to a place of modern furniture, sunlit rooms and a functional kitchen.  You can easily imagine the facial expression of proud homeowners with smiling faces, raised eyebrows and an imaginary gleam of bright light on top of their heads.

So, an invitation to all headmasters and principals: for the betterment of both teachers and students alike, what about making changes, whether temporarily or permanently, and let your “patrons” share some freshness and excitement and have something to look forward to early in the morning when they start their journey to school:

“(1) Design classroom layout to facilitate the most typical instructional activities (e.g. small groups, whole group…)

 (2)  Arrange furniture to allow for proximity and smooth teacher and student movement

(3) Consider unique student needs and ensure accessibility

(4) Post visuals that support critical content and learning practices (e.g. word walls…) and reflect diversity of the classroom community.” 5

David Tai-Wai Lam, JP

(Uncle David)

References:

1. K. McIntosh and others, Getting Back to School after Disruptions, PBIS TA Center, 2020

2. Ditto

3. C. Guardino and E. Fullerton, Changing Behaviors by Changing the Classroom Environment, (CEC) Teaching Exceptional Children, 2010

4. Ditto

5. Supporting and Responding to Students` Social, Emotional, and Behavioral needs: Evidence-Based Practices for Educators, Center on PBIS, University of Oregon, 2022